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Happy Thursday folks!

Here is my favorite passage of the week, two quotes and book of the week with two important lessons to ponder on:

Author Paul Millerd on non-doing (wu wei):

The book of the week is The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans by Maya Shankar.

Moving, practical and deeply grounded in science. The book offers a blend of captivating stories, cognitive science, and heartfelt wisdom to uncover strength in chaos, clarity amid uncertainty, and purpose after adversity. This book will reshape how we navigate change, serving as an essential guide for anyone facing the unexpected.

As Maya writes in the book, we can learn from one another’s stories, even when they don’t look like our own. This book is for anyone who is currently in the choppy waters of a change, is trying to make sense of a past change, or is anxious about a future change. It is part narrative and part practical guide, rooted in the latest scientific research.

Here are two important lessons from the book:

When a big change occurs, our negative thoughts can take on a life of their own, nestling into our psyches and stoking our biggest fears. This is known as rumination, and it can involve obsessively rehashing something in the past, grappling with perceived problems in the present, or catastrophizing an imagined future. When we ruminate, we keep going over and over the same negative thoughts, and we get stuck in a loop. Our brain trick us into believing we’re making progress on our problem when we’re often just making things worse.

One of the best ways to break free from rumination is to actively zoom out, to engage in what is known as psychological distancing. It involves creating space between yourself and the thoughts that have taken hold. This distance allows you to see your situation from new angles, which can release you from rumination’s hamster wheel. Zooming out involves proactively seeking other points of view or greater context so that you can approach your problems more constructively.

There are many evidence-based ways to zoom out. Cognitive reappraisal involves reinterpreting your situation to alter its emotional impact. Mental time travel involves imagining the past or future to see your problems from a different perspective. The experience of awe leads you to challenge your assumptions and to look beyond your individual wants, needs, and anxieties.

Loneliness and rumination often mutually reinforce each other, creating a vicious cycle. Being in community with others and seeing yourself reflected in their experiences can help you escape the cycle of rumination and open you up to valuable lessons those same people might teach you. Since discomfort with uncertainty and ambiguity can give rise to mental spirals, the more you can strive to exist comfortably in life’s gray spaces and to lessen your need for cognitive closure, the less likely it is that rumination will take hold.

Changing our beliefs about anything can be hard. Our beliefs are embedded in the stories we tell ourselves about we are, our narrative identity. Change can be an opportunity to reexamine our long-held beliefs, like those about our families. We might discover in the process that some of the beliefs we once thought of as sacred are actually worth of revision.

Reexamining your beliefs involves cultivating metacognitive awareness, which is when you think about your thinking. Consider analyzing your ideas through the lens of a scientist: stay curious, question your assumptions, and treat your beliefs as hypotheses that should be tested. Thinking like a scientist involves actively seeking out data, even if they contradict your own views, and being careful not to tie your identity to any given viewpoint. Ask yourself: How did I get from point A to point B in my thinking? Based on what existing beliefs did I form this new one? Would this belief hold up against the scrutiny of the people I trust? In theory, what evidence would persuade me to change my mind?

Another way to unlock mental flexibility is to imagine that you were born during a different time, or into a different culture or family. Would you still have the same beliefs that you have now? What if you had been in a different emotional state when you first heard the information, or if the information had been delivered by a different messenger?

The Way of Excellence by Brad Stulberg. A captivating and transformative guide that redefines true achievement through purposeful growth, mastery, and deep engagement.

Junglekeeper: What It Takes to Change the World by Paul Rosolie. Most people assume that the world has been explored and true adventure is dead: This book is one man’s rebuttal. Explorer and conservationist Paul Rosolie shares his incredible life in the Amazon rainforest and what we can learn from the people fighting to protect it.